desert scape

i could really go for some desert heat right now

To Tell You.

I woke up today alarmed by the knowledge
That we may not have a whole lifetime
Or we may not even have a year
To wait to run into each other:

For that magical collision
- At the same time fated and accidental -
Where we'd arrive to the same place
Both ready and well
And to fit so perfectly together,
Unchecked by the past
And unafraid of the future.

So I wished that I could
Unabashedly and shamelessly find you.
Tell you,
I never hoped for a permanent forever.

Tell you,
How we may not have a whole lifetime
And we may not even have a year
To wait
To run into each other.

Tell you, I beat
Fate to the punch
And staged my own accident.
I arrived to you
Not ready and unwell and
To fit
So uncomfortably together with
You and burdened
By the past and
Terrified of
The future.

Wouldn't that still count?
Isn't that, in some way, better?

Track #3

I remember you from the days before I lived here. Now that we share the same neighborhood, and sometimes the same friends, I see a lot more of you. I am not sure it's vice versa.

Undefeated

There are some passages that I come back to and rediscover them as if I wrote them in some sort of trance; drunk and naive without realizing their value. Am I speaking of the future as I write, do I already know who I will be?

September 17. 2007
I can't help it. These feelings I have, for someone now, and for those I've had a chance to know. Each face lingers with the contrast of what they looked like before and what they look like afterwards; from the sweet to bitter, normal to great. Sometimes I see a face and I try to keep that image alive. The more I try to hold on to that face the more it changes. I can't help it. You'll change, they all change. I just want something great. But I can't make you great, just like I couldn't make them great. I can hold on for a while but eventually you will defeat me. The truth will lay me down. It will shine and I hope you shine brighter.

Sitting There on College with me

surrounded by the concrete and the trees growing out of grates in the ground and the passing strangers, he looked small in his grey winter coat; tired with the dark circles around his eyes and the creases in his face. Just below the waves of hair he kept pushing away from his eyes, I swear I saw the cracks in his heart.

I saw the boy that stood on his sixteenth-storey balcony, looking over the parking lot, and in his mind, played over the sequence of events that would follow if he hoisted himself over the ledge; staring in the face of nothingness.

I kissed him hard.

 I was sitting on the bus, feeling very overwhelmed.  I could not stop crying.  I got off the bus at my stop and a quite older woman got off at the same time.  She approached me and gave me a long hug.  As she let me go, she said "I don't know you but I love you".  It changed my life.

Knees Are Meant to Meet The Earth

You trip, you fall, you get up. You trip, you fall, you get up. You trip, you fall, you get up. Again, this time with more enthusiasm, more intensity.
Keep going. You’re doing fine, you’re doing a good job. Keep at it. Yeah, that’s just right, everything is just right.
The more you believe you’re fine, the more you really are. Now get back up, and do it all over again.
Trip, fall, and get up.
Again.